"New York" Nick Nalbach
He doesn't speak, he doesn't read, he doesn't listen. Nick spends a vast majority of his time counting the number of spots on the carpet in grandma Joan's basement. When he isn't doing that, Mr. Nalbach enjoys sneaking up on bunnies, licking his forearms until they turn red, and log-rolling down the hill in his backyard until he vomits (which he then eats).